Great Uncle McCoy Carnes & Great Aunt Edna Messer Remembered

My parents taught me the value of family and respect for my heritage. It was after all their motivating factor to relocate from Michigan to Kentucky. They had a dream that their children would grow up, knowing their family members and appreciating the history from which our family derived.
Knowing my great-grandparents has always been a cherished gift I received from living in Kentucky. My mother’s father, Alonzo Carnes, provided me the connection of my Great Grandfather George Martin Carnes, Sr. , Pap was a character to say the least. Always living on the curve, raising his family from off the land he farmed, sure, life wasn’t easy, but my Great Aunts and Uncles did very well for themselves from this heritage and today their families have become individuals who have made great impacts throughout our communities. I enjoy the pleasure of being a Pap, named after him, to a little guy named Seth Joshua and a precious little baby girl, Julia Anna Baker. I don’t always wear the biv-overalls like Pap did, and I don’t roll my own cigarettes from Prince Albert in the can, but I pray to leave them the value of family, a heritage rich in tradition, and genuine love to be carried on to the next generation.
This side of my family has always been special because of the absence of my grandfather in my life. My great-aunts and uncles filled his shoes in such a way that I was actually a teenager before I realized his absence. Their love and the investment of their time into my life will forever remain a part of the very being that I am.
Recently our family experienced the loss of my Great Uncle McCoy “Sam” Carnes and my Great Aunt Edna Messer. The family life line continues in my Aunt Evelyn Warren and my two remaining Uncles, George Carnes Jr., and Cloyd Carnes. These elderly giants of life and history helped fill my missing answers about life, of which I will always be grateful for their willingness to invest in me and my understanding.
When I learned of their individual passings, immediately the first thoughts that came to my mind were the last two conversations I had with each of them. Conversations about family and what they perceived and believed with respect to life as it was, and is today. I wanted no speculation about their thoughts, I needed to hear from them and they each shared with me. Actually I had the same conversation with each of my great aunts and uncles and I was so overwhelmed by their candor and what I perceived to be heart felt genuine thoughts. It is never easy to approach family to talk about history and to understand why folks did what they did, but I am so grateful that they knew my heart and respected my life enough to share from their unique position of a brother and a sister regarding my grandfather, my mother, and Aunt Imogene. I have always had the highest regards for them because they remained connected even when others disappeared. My desire for conversation about life and how I should live my life was filled with their stories about times they were done wrong by others, childhood experiences with Big Mom and Pap, stories of how they decided to raise their families and how you just got to let some people do what they are going to do. Valuable information that they shared with me, knowledge I learned from them and wisdom that I’ve shared already with others in my life.
Meeting Uncle McCoy at the store and sitting there, just a rocks through from the old home place, was most precious. Drinking a soda on him and listening to him share with me about my mother made me see clearly why she always loved him so. Driving to Aunt Edna’s which always seemed so far away, was just a short ride to the porch that look way down from the road as a child. Hearing her talk about mistakes witnessed in life, and about the difficulties each has been through in their lives was a reminded that we are all human, we’ve all made decisions we wish we could take back, but yet, we find ourselves living life the best we know or can, under the circumstances that surround us.
My life is no secret. I believe the road to the future is paved by those who have gone before us. We have options to take or choices to follow, or we can attempt to make a new road using the wisdom of the past for our own decisions and life’s journey.
Within my total Great’s family on all sides, I have remaining Aunt Evelyn, Aunt Doxie, Uncle Junior, Uncle Cloyd, Aunt Mary and Aunt Mae. The wisdom of life is never to late to be learned, and as a great-nephew I am just thankful that on all sides, they have been willing to share with me.

Until then

Reflection on Father's Day - from church

During church services on Father’s Day the hymn which set my mind to thinking was that of “Faith of our Fathers”. I have been an individual that has always listened to words and that training and focus has been amplified over the past several years in my life. The scriptural foundation for this hymn comes from Hebrews 11:6. The Bible says, without faith it is impossible to please him. The hymn is one of most challenging words and thought actions. An individual singing this hymn makes several statements of personal faith, and these are all based upon the witness and example we have seen from our Father. 1) That we will win all nations for the cause of Christ. 2) Dungeon, fire nor sword will cause us to stop living for Him. 3) And that we will live our lives with kindly words and a virtuous life. 4) That we will love both friend and foe in all our strife.
This hymn is a great example of real preaching without an actual sermon to listen to. Most folks would say they like toe stomping preaching, well, here’s hymn stomping without a doubt. The challenges are so strong and cause us to have such a inter reflection that considering such could really change us as Christians. “Faith of our Fathers” presents a real sense of accountability for those we are watching, and for those that are looking at us as we live our lives. Actually it is sobering to consider the spiritual heritage that our children will have will be what they have learned from us. Makes one immediately want to say, “oh me”, right?
Personal evaluation in life is always difficult, especially if we are true to ourselves, and trust our own evaluation. I have often given the counsel to individuals that if you are going to lie, lie to others, but don’t lie to yourself. The reason for this counsel is because once you lie to yourself you have no one you can trust. Of course the best counsel is to not lie to anyone, yourself nor others. When it comes to our Christian walk of faith where are you in the honesty factor of your relationship? Are you living your life in such a way that your positive life wins others to Christ? When you are up against the battle of battle are you fighting against the dungeon, fire and sword?
Honesty, I would think, would cause each of us to see our failures in our walks and lives of faith for Him. I believe personal reflection is not about doing so to put a lid or close the casket on our lives or actions, but rather a personal tool for good. None of us would like to admit we have failed. None of us would like to admit we are not the best example to watch. None of us wants to be used as the poster child for ‘don’t live your life this way’. Yet, we are all those things too. In my personal life of faith one of the things I have learned to embrace and understand about Jesus Christ is that He does not want to condemn us, but when His word says that He came to seek and to save that which is lost, it means just that. All of us included. I have learned to embrace the fact of faith that our lives is about pressing toward the prize, it is about our confession that we are not able to go on, and that we can only go forward because we can only do all things through Him.
Not sure what you did on Father’s Day. It might have been you had a cookout, went to the lake, attended church, had a family dinner at home, or it was just another normal Sunday, whatever that might be for you. Could have been you received a gift from your child, or children. Maybe you received a phone call and from the other line you heard an “I love you” and “Happy Father’s Day”. For me, I enjoyed church, the music was especially challenging to my ears and my way of thinking has been challenged, how about yours?

Until then

Sarah McLachlan, Dale Wimbrow, & Justice Cain

Quotes are great and I love them. I love the quotes that make immediate sense and those that you need to think about to make sure you understand what is being said. Quotes with hidden meanings can be the perfect encouragement for the day. May I suggest Charles Dickerson, Walt Whitman, Robert Frost, as just good fun classics, if you are up to some reading. To seek and discover today’s lines you might want to tune in to a station that is playing top music hits, listen to the radio and hear the excitement or the pain.
Sarah McLachlan writes in her song, Arms of an Angel, “spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for the break that will make it ok. There’s always some reason to feel not good enough and it’s hard at the end of the day.” These words are powerful she has pinned as a self expressionist. “You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie, you’re in the arms of an Angel, may you find some comfort here”.
Dale Wimbrow wrote the poem, The Guy in the Glass. This may very well be my all time favorite poem and one that I have quoted since it was introduction into my life. “When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf, and the world makes you Kind for a day, then go to the mirror and look at yourself, and see what that guy has to say. You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, and get pats on the back as you pass, but your final reward will be heartaches and tears, if you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.” What a challenge for anyone up to a good self inspection. Check out Dale Wimbrow and his work, A Sardine and a Cracker for more moments if you want a laugh and a smile at the same time.
I am thankful for the friends I have in life. I am thankful for their personal impact, thoughts they have shared, and I’ve enjoyed the time it takes to get to know folks. Allowing our friends to be themselves is just as difficult as being authentic in worship. Listening to people is something that is only successfully accomplished because you really care and want to listen and be helpful. The typical nose in your business- is worse case scenario, and leads to the development of few friends but lots of talk and gossip, if that be your goal.
Justice Cain wrote: “I am more spiritual than religious, religion requires faith, faith equals 'blind trust'. Life has taught me to keep my eyes, mind and heart open and trust is too easily and often broken. Hope is all I have, certainty is uncertain, promises may not be kept, trust may not be earned, words may not be true, love may not be returned, belief and great expectations cannot be afforded. But I have Hope....and dreams.”
If you are writing your quote or situation for today what words are you going to strike upon the canvas of life or paper as you pin your thoughts? The quest for self is never easy. The hard lesson may very well be that we find ourselves in giving ourselves away to another. Many of the followers of Jesus have so distorted His teaching that many think there is no answer in His teachings today. Finding life through Him is about Him providing life to us, by the giving of himself.
Who are you listening to for the answers in life? What are you reading for understanding? Where are you looking for the solutions you seek? Justice wrote, “but I have a hope….and dreams.” Me too, join the journey if you will.

Until then

It's all about Mother's

Mother’s Day is that special day of the year that no matter what you think, want to say, or even want to do, you do as Mother wants you to! In just a few more weeks when Father’s Day arrives, the same high level of respect will just not make it to the table. Dad’s are different from Mom’s, so overhauls and/or a tie will be fine for Dad, but make sure for Mom it’s flowers, candy, a meal and everything she says.
Now most moms are really not as demanding, as I have written. It’s always good to smile and think, he’s just kidding, but deep inside we all know it is the truth too. Moms are fun to pick on and to pick at. It’s a part of the language that males sometimes use to say I love you, or to express that you are special to them. In my life I have had a few of those special moms that during this time of the year I am appreciative for their giving and the memories we share.
Helen Martin was the first. Now Helen was that person that while she may have not treated Jim and Bridget so special, she shouldn’t have. I am the baby after all and the Lord knows my brother and sister already had it made, so they didn’t need any attention or special love-me on the other hand, well, it was all good. By the way, my brother is all momma’s and sister is 100% daddy’s girl, so don’t go feeling sorry for them ok? Helen was that person that I just have nothing but good memories of. From the purchase of a hot pretzel, to a .5 cent bus ride downtown, it was all good.
My Aunt Jean has been like a mom. I’m messy; she’s clean as a whistle, or at least neat and tidy. She is not the one that just anybody can stop by and walk on in on, but I could, or at least I did. She tolerated that behavior out of me growing up and if I played my cards just right, I could also have dinner with her and Uncle Curt. When it comes to great-aunts, well, they played the role as well. It’s not just anybody that you could stop in and say, “I’m hungry, what’s cooking”, and you could get exactly what you wanted. My heart’s love flows to Aunt Mary and Aunt Evelyn who always have welcoming and open doors. Mom memories of my Aunt Dorothy are also flowing. She is still queen of the peanut butter, jelly and sugar sandwich. I can see her even now, stirring together that special blend just for me. The great thing about Aunt Dot was that their are a slew of young’ins just like me that feel just as special, that takes a very special type of person and she was all that.
Unique and special mothers, I need to mention Pearly. What a dandy! Now Helen taught me to use mustard, it was her polish heritage shining through, and it was Pearly who always made sure she had mustard just for me when she would fry up a skillet of potatoes. What memories of mothers.
Grandmothers have their special place. After all, mother is in their name. Some folks would describe others as just being born with it, and grandmothers are. They have that nack, that special touch, they know just the right words to say, it’s all part of being a grandmother and I am thankful for mine.
In high school Mrs. Barbara Young was a mother. She was one of those teachers that just loved kids, taught for the right reason, and had that mother instinct for not just her children, but all her children, and that’s special too. Walk in to homeroom late and just say “mom” and she would quickly say, “I’ll mom you”….wow, what blessings I have had in my life.
While my life has been touch by many moms who filled a gap, made an impact upon my life, drove me to a game or picked me up from one, there is nothing like your mom, and mine is special. She is all the things you want a mom to be, and that includes the love and the discipline. I’ve witnessed her be a mom to every kid at the house, and I’ve watched her go the extra mile so many times that I really have lost memory of some of the great lesions of life. She has done a lot for the benefit of other people and I’m grateful to have a mother like that. Those that know her understand she loves to give and while it is more blessed to give then receive, mom, please receive this one. I love you!

Until then

Being Authenic

The one goal I have always had in ministry was to be authentic. If you say something, let it be from the heart. If you tell someone you care, be someone that does care. Let your actions and your words work together. Don’t talk about acceptance and then not like others because they dress differently, talk differently, or live in an area that you consider to be not so great a community. In worship, be someone that is authentic in your actions. When the song says “Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus”, then be standing. When it says “Lift up Holy Hands” then do.
Being real is difficult in life, and maybe the most difficult place to be authentic and real could very well be in the church. The built up walls that individuals place between themselves and other people is certainly a hurdle to overcome, and then compounded with that wall, add an additional wall that one builds between God and themselves. Now that creates real obstacles that make authentic worship difficult.
The one element of being authentic I have yet to mention is probably where most find themselves. That would be the consideration that authentic worship is always happy. I mentioned standing and lifting hands and those actions would be considered positive, but what about crying, brokenness, and silence?
A great mistake in life is to believe that because someone is not happy, jolly, and full of spirit, something is wrong. Yet, on the other hand, if these same traits never enter your life, then there are issues—and something is wrong. Church is a difficult place to be authentic because many Christians are not true to the real walk of faith that includes times of trying and difficulty. I want to be the first to speak up and say that those experiences are not fun, but they are necessary for real Christian growth. I will go one step further and share that I have always believed the most difficult praise chorus to sing today in the church is, “Open My Eyes Lord”, especially that line that says, “Brokenness is what I long for”. I have always had a lump develop in my throat because those are simple words with very challenging theological implications.
Many on Sunday mornings say “hello” and expect the same thing back. A smile from one individual generates a smile back, and a small talk moment establishes a time of meaningless conversation about nothing, generally. Church should be, but normally isn’t, a place we go and share our difficult days. However, we don’t talk about the moments that almost break us. We are afraid of the judgment that many Christians dish out, so we just don’t share, with good reason. Being authentic in church is difficult, but it shouldn’t be.
Crying and being broken in our spirits should be a part of our Christian experience, especially if we believe Hell is a real place. After all, once you are in that location, there is no return. So should we not be broken? The unfortunate truth is many in church say they are concerned, but there is no way to measure that concern in their lives other then to say it cannot be measured, only assumed. It’s just concerned talk because no actions on their part can be seen or witnessed.
When was the last time you were in a silent service? A time where you simply read God’s word privately and were directed by a prepared script that gave guidance to hearing from the Holy Spirit? Some will respond and say that’s just not the way we worship. We preach and sing. Okay, but who was the last person you introduced to Jesus? How many lost people come visit your church every week and listen to the preaching and singing? Some will say church is for “saved” people, or church is for Christians to worship Jesus. Others will say church is designed to build up the church and the Kingdom of God. Well, that sounds really religious and nice, but is that what Jesus said? I agree church is to help build up and edify the body of Christ, but Jesus was all about lost people. Most churches have so many unwritten rules and policies; it is difficult for a lost person to feel at ease in most of our worship services. I can say that because there will be many Christians that say it’s difficult for them to be authentic, so just imagine how someone on the outside feels coming inside. We’ve got a lot of work to do, but most will take little or no action. Be authentic, love as Christ loved, and see what will happen in your church.

Until then

Matthew Maupin - An American Hero

Words of wisdom and the sharing of truths of life are sometimes difficult to understand when we are young and lacking in experiences that reinforce those life lessons. I have attempted in my life to live my Christian faith in a true and real way that values and respects the journey of life and the friendships introduced and established. Sometime we meet people, and they are interesting. We enjoy our first contact, but because of life herself, we pass and never meet again to grow that friendship. Other times we begin the same way, but opportunity continues to arise and only later in life do we discover the impact of that crossing and understand some of the wisdom of life that has been shared with us.
The song says, “It’s a small world after all”, and I find this truth to be one that took years for me to understand and believe. Sure we agree in principal that it is a small world, meaning we will see and meet people everywhere that we know or that know us. This real truth and value takes years to appreciate. Through life’s journey, I was introduced to the support family of Army Staff Sergeant Matt Maupin. This happened through the wedding of Ken & Amy Fritz in Northern Kentucky. My support for the military is no secret, and my respect for our armed services is a part of who I am as a citizen. I am one who deeply appreciates his constitutional freedoms.
I have written many times about Delta Company of the 149th, as the first unit of the Kentucky National Guard from this area to make her way to the battle zone in Iraq. I hold in great respect Adjutant General Donald C. Storm. He has been a friend to me in time of family crises because of the Iraq War, and his assistance to a soldier’s family will never be forgotten on my part.
The service of Matt Maupin begins with enlistment in the Army Reserves after high school. He played football for Glen Este High School in Union Township in Ohio, a city with a population of 1,600. His parents are great people. They created the Yellow Ribbon Support Center in support of US Troops. They established this center because of the events of April 9, 2004. This is the day their son was captured by insurgents in Iraq. His video was placed on Al Jazeera television, one week after his capture, with five masked men holding automatic rifles. Matthew has been the only American soldier who has been unaccounted for in Iraq, until now. He was reported alive on one video and reportedly killed through the release of another video on June 28, 2004. Arab network Al Jazeera reported that he was fatally shot in the back of the head only three months after his captivity. Matthew wasn’t listed as a POW/MIA because he was not held by a recognized government. Instead, he remained listed by the Army as missing-captured. The 20 year olds capture occurred when his fuel convoy, part of the 724th Transportation Company, came under attack near the Baghdad International Airport.
Matt Maupin represents the cost of freedom, and the willing sacrifice of a young life for our freedom and safety. The cost of the Iraq War is not cheap, and while officials place monetary value on such efforts, there is no proper way to put a figure on the value of one life, like Matt’s. He is a representative of all of us from small town America. Union Township is just like Pineville, but smaller then Williamsburg or Barbourville. He lived his life in small community which is like many of us. He is an America Hero who paid the ultimate price for our freedom and safety here in the United States.
The Soldiers Creed says:
I am an American Soldier
I am a warrior and a member of a team.
I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values
I will always place the mission first
I will never accept defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade
I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills,
Always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.
I am an expert and I am a professional
I stand ready to deploy, engage and destroy the enemies of the United States of America I close combat
I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life
I am an American Soldier.

Matthew Maupin is an American Hero, and I have been touched by his life and his family. We have American Heroes here among us too, and this American salutes each of you. I pray God’s speed and blessings.

Until then