Being a Father

Father can be very interesting. Yes, we have our set ways that nothing will change and yet we can surprise the heck out of you with something you thought you would never see us do. Learning about Fatherhood and the role of a father is in many situations trial and error. There will be some read this column and not get a word I am writing while others of you will totally understand. It is in many cases the difference between fathers. If you are like me, I have a loving father, he has work hard to provide, he gave to his children what he never had growing up materially speaking. Life was a challenge for his generation and he has always done what he believed to be correct, and if we as his children were wrong, he didn’t defend us like so many parents do today. We’ve not always agreed politically, socially, or personally, but I’m pretty sure he still loves me…I think? Here is the first difference between fathers; I actually know my dad cares even if we are at the total opposite ends of the spectrum. The difference between fathers for some is that they have never known their father and for some that is difficult to understand. Personally myself, I understand the child’s point of view perfectly, the part I can’t get is why a biological father would not love his child, support his child and work to be in their lives. Yes, there are differences between fathers. My parenting skills and techniques are simply. I have used what I like from my father and other fathers, good and bad to make a difference. For some individuals they believe blood line is the only fact that matters. I have seen and watch enough bloodline failures that this fact is not even relative to me. I always wanted to have my own children. Losing a pregnancy is a very difficult moment. If you have the chance to later become parents that loss will remain but parts of it will begin to slowly be replaced with your new ever present joy that helps overcome that particular loss. If you never have your own bloodline then that hurt lingers and remains. Sometimes we tell folks they just need to get over it, and that maybe good advice, it just seems like those that always give that advice, already have. Being a father to me is about sharing, giving, listening, helping, laughing, crying, tuning out, going the second mile, and doing what no one else wants to do, but that must be done. Being a father is all about love and I am thankful that bloodline has nothing to do with that fact. To be a father takes two individuals. The older individual assumes the role of father. He must be willing to invest his time, energy, and be willing to experience heartache and all the while freely sharing his resources hoping to encourage and inspire. The other individual assumes his position as son, following instructions, learning to appreciate and for quite a while simply doing as you are told because that’s just the way it is when you are learning to grow up. There are many you may not recognize as a father because they don’t fit your perfect definition, but that doesn’t negate the fact they are. I salute fathers who know they are and I applaud sons who love their fathers because there is a difference. Until then